Location: Southern Africa
Capital: Harare
Population: 12,382,920
Life Expectancy: 50 years and dropping
GDP (Total): $2.2 billion
GDP Per Capita: $188 (LOL!!1!)
Main Exports: Jenkem, FAIL, AIDS, refugees
In a just world, the name at the top of this entry would read "Rhodesia". The nation, now called Zimbabwe (or more like Chimpbabwe, amirite?), has been in the news a lot in recent years due to its runaway inflation, dispossesion of white farmers and the antics of its imbecillic nigger President, Robert Mugabe.
The area now known as Zimbabwe was inhabited by pre-historic niggers about 5000 years ago, who left some rock paintings across the area. It's believed these cave niggers were basically identical to the talking orangutans who inhabit the country today. Nigger-lovers love to talk about the "great empire" of Mutaba which ruled Zimbabwe from the 13th to the 17th centuries. The empire's greatest distinction seems to have been the shitty stone ruins it left behind. Ruins of what, exactly? Hard to tell, since the architectural style of what was left behind looks so primitive and flimsy that it's hard to imagine these were supposed to have been "buildings". Most likely they were just sheds used to store jenkem and bling.
Ruins from Zimbabwe's "Empire". Pretty impressive, huh? *snicker*
In the 1880s, British explorer Cecil Rhodes and the British South Africa Company arrived and went to work on making something
out of the country. Eventually the country would be named after the explorer, being known as Rhodesia beginning in 1895. For most of the 20th century, Rhodesia prospered. Large white-owned and run farms produced hundreds of tons of food for not just the whites, but also for niggers in Rhodesia and all over the Africoon continent. Rhodesia was one of Africa's largest food exporters. That's right, RAYCISS WHITEYS were responsbile for providing food for millions of niggers! The coons, in a typical show of gratitude (or "groidtitude"), couldn't stand this situation. They just had to take all the land for themselves. The United Kingdom was increasingly pressuring Rhodesia to hand power over to the niggers.
The leader of Rhodesia's government, Ian Smith, said "Fuck this shit!!" and issued a Unilateral Declaration of Independence
from the UK on November 11, 1965. Five years later, Rhodesia declared itself a Republic. Most countries would not recognize
Rhodesia officially, but South Africa and Portugal (which still ran neighboring Mozambique and Angola at the time) provided
some support. The niggers began a "gorilla war" and unleashed years of chimpouts and bongo parties on the human minority.
Even in its isolation, white-run Rhodesia was still able to feed itself and survive economically, which today's Chimpbabwe is
incapable of doing. Eventually, though, the humans had to concede defeat and agree to let the niggers run the country (into the
ground). Bad idea!!
